Miscarriage and Grief

Miscarriage and Grief

 

You might have noticed that I’ve been a little silent on my blog lately.  That’s simply for the fact that we’ve had a very busy few weeks with the start of the school year.  I have had a lot of topics or experiences during this time that I wanted to share but nothing felt right or seemed to come to fruition.  I’m banking those away for other days.  Maybe God has the right person for it to speak to that day.  I did have another blog post lined up for tonight but I think this one needs to be shared.  For all you mommas (and not yet mommas) out there:

 

I wish I would have been in the right frame of mind when we miscarried in January 2011–our story would have been more along the lines of this one.

At the time I felt rushed because I was a full-time employee on top of wife and mother. I felt that I needed to make the quick and “easy” decision of having a D&C so I could be back to work and available to my family as soon as possible. Later I would discover just how shattered my heart was with our decision when they referred to this procedure as an abortion and just threw our baby away in a garbage can.

Recovery was tough for me emotionally but also physically and it landed me in the ER a week later. As I sat in the hallway for hours, having contractions and convulsions and waiting for an ultrasound, I thought for sure they were going to tell me that I would be unable to have any more children. Praise God that His hand was holding my womb and allowed us to conceive Emery Kate just two months later.

Our story is one of victory and triumph because my husband was told at 16 years of age that he would never be able to have children. What gifts Reese, Emery and our little love, Ezekiel {in heaven} are to us. Tonight my heart is so heavy with grief again over his {or her} loss as I think back about how I could have handled this better if I knew then what I know now.

I believe with all my heart that life begins at conception. I believed it then just as I believe it now. I wish I would have valued that life more then. I just didn’t know. It was all so rushed.

Someday I will have a tree that I can sit under to rest, hold and play with all my babies in remembrance of Ezekiel. Please take a few moments to read this family’s story and view the beautiful pictures of life at 13 weeks after conception.

Amazing Photos of Nathan, Miscarried at 14 Weeks, Show Unborn Baby’s Humanity

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One thought on “Miscarriage and Grief

  1. I am so sorry to hear that you experienced this. Several of my friends have miscarried, and it breaks my heart each time I get that phone call, or see the tears well up on the mother’s face. Doesn’t matter if it’s your first or tenth child — each baby truly is a miracle.

    I read a really great book called “Angels In My Hair” by Lorna Byrne, a woman who sees angels, and there is one passage that has helped me to process the pain I have seen my friends go through: “When a woman becomes pregnant, the baby’s soul already knows if its mother will miscarry: if it will be aborted, stillborn or deformed. Regardless of what happens, the baby’s soul still loves its parents and will always be by their side – it will be there to help them through life. If you have ever lost a baby, never forget that that little baby’s soul chose you to be its mother or father. It actually chose you before it was even conceived; that little soul loves you and was full of joy that you were able to concieve it.”

    Thanks for sharing your story — it takes a lot of courage. ❤

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