Marriage Tips and Advice

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Upon celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary we were blessed with winning a photography contest to have our wedding pictures redone.  This was a HUGE blessing to us since we only have one wedding day photo displayed in our home.  A family friend was supposed to gift us with her photography skills for our special day but decided the day before our rehearsal that she wanted to go Up North for the 4th of July weekend.  That left us with no options—until our friends Randy and Marli Brown http://www.randyandmarli.com reached out to a friend who took their picture for one of their album covers.  Thankfully she was available the day of our wedding but only for a few hours.  There was no money budgeted for photography at this point so we used a little of what we had from our paychecks plus some out of our wedding cards {that we had to open early} and we received a few good pictures on a CD.

Fast forward 7 years later and this amazing photographer offers a contest on her Facebook page to do a wedding re-do session for couples who never had wedding pictures or had a bad experience.  I had been following her for awhile already because she had taken pictures of some friends family/children and I thought they were beautiful.  Somehow I didn’t even see her post about the contest in my own feed but I did when a friend shared it to her page.  I knew immediately that we were destined to at least apply.  Little did I know that God had bigger plans to bless my socks off!

MarieMassePhotography has been a HUGE blessing to us!  We had a great experience with her during our session, she captured beautiful images that are already on display in our home and we formed a friendship that includes messages to each other and play dates at the park.  Thank you Marie for going after your gift.  You are a true talent!  If you are in the Metro Detroit area, check out her work and blog at http://www.mariemassphotography.net

Before sharing a blog post regarding our session with her, she asked us to come up with some marriage tips and advice to go along with it.  While I still keep coming up with things to add to this list, here is what we came up with for her:

1.) Always stand up for your spouse whether you believe their view is correct or not.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and everyone has their own unique feelings.  Showing that you support them and their stance will go further than making them feel like their view doesn’t matter.

2.) Remember your spouse.  Think about things he/she likes and remember them when you stop at the store on the way home.  Don’t buy yourself a beer to bring home for dinner and come home empty handed for her.  Sometimes a favorite drink, ice cream or Taco Bell is much more meaningful than jewelry or flowers.

3.) Dance in the kitchen.  Always.  Turn on some music and whisk her around the kitchen.  Not only are you setting a great example for your children and having a little bit of fun but you never know where it might lead when they go to bed : )

4.) Always show your children how you respect their mother or father.  Demonstrating love and respect in front of them will help them know how they are expected to treat them when you aren’t around.

5.) Work together.  Many hands make work light.  Even after a long day in the office or a difficult day at home with the kids, when the dishes or laundry needs to be done do it together.  It will get done a lot faster if you each take a task rather than doing it alone and angry.

6.) Husbands–here is a BIG key of advice that no one has probably ever told you: When the house is a mess, her brain is too.  When the dishes are done and things are picked up her mind is free and her body relaxed to rock your world in the bedroom!

7.) Make sex a priority not a chore.

8.) Be humble.  Apologize.  It’s okay to be wrong and vulnerable in front of your spouse.  Nobody wins unless you both win.

9.) Never ever, ever, ever throw a frying pan across the room toward your spouse (not us–-a couple we once knew).  It’s better to take a time out, leave the room and collect your thoughts before you say or do something you know you will regret later.  Walking away isn’t a sign of weakness or a step toward isolation.  It is showing maturity and respect and knowing that you care enough about the other person to tread cautiously all in the name of love.

10.) Set aside time for date nights even if you don’t have a lot of funds.  Put some ideas on Popsicle sticks and draw one each date night.  They could range from dinner at a fancy restaurant to coffee only, movie, bowling, etc.  Be purposeful to take time together–especially after children join the family.

11.) Husbands–call a cousin, a niece, or a neighbor and line up a babysitter.  Sometimes women have too much on their plate that even finding a babysitter can be too much.  Taking this stress off her shoulders will help her be a more enjoyable date for you.

12.) Wives–Sometimes it’s okay to let your man go out for a drink with the guys after work.  If you’ve had a long day and just want him home–tell him.  If you can stand waiting a few more hours for his arrival–let him go.  He’ll feel so refreshed to be able to go somewhere that isn’t work or home.  It will help him be more present and appreciative with you and at his job.

13.) Stay up late to binge watch your favorite series on Netflix.  Eat lots of sherbet, drink craft Root Beers and enjoy each others laughter.  You might sleep all the next day since you’re not as young as you used to be but do it anyway.  You won’t regret it later when you say, “Remember that one night we stayed up late watching How I Met Your Mother until 5am?”

14.) Don’t talk down about your spouse to your friends.  It could affect your friends’ view of them and isn’t respectful toward your spouse.  Keep your gabbing under control.  Don’t say anything about them behind their back that you wouldn’t want them to find out five years down the road.

15.) The word “divorce” is never in your vocabulary.  Period.  Be in it to win it!

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3 thoughts on “Marriage Tips and Advice

  1. That is so cool that you won! God is good!!! Loved all your marriage advice too, especially the date night ideas on Popsicle sticks. We usually do dinner & a movie, but on our last date we just did appetizers & coffee and just talked, it was refreshing to change it up 🙂

  2. I totally agree. I love the relationship you model for your kids. I see a lot of parents putting their kids before their marriage in many small ways & that adds up. What they dont realize is that their marriage is one of the most important things to focus on for their children. For the feeling of safety in a full home, a model of how they should behave and treat others, and a bright example of the future they have to look forward to. Gotta love ya.

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